(You should Click On all the LUCKY(s) in this Blogg...or miss the amazin musical!)
LUCKY
(Posted this one for the Josh and the Grrrr)
So I spent "nano brain tyme" last week and emailed all my sig Offspring's utubes about laughing, singin, an dancin; and not one of them responded. I went from gLee to Fleetwood Mac to Les Mis.
I conclude my children are brain-dead! I amazed myself with my techno capabilities and no one else!
They took it in stride and all I heard was,
"Way to go Ma Ma K you wrote on my Face Book wall...Welcome to 2011."
Didn't know I had written on any one's wall as I have spent my life sans graffiti, i.e., not writing on walls.
So above I posted my favorite uTube in an attempt to elicited a response from any other S.Offspring which translates into , "It is not too late!" (Don't worry: I am not holding out hope.)
Took all fricken day yesterday and I was LATE driving 'the Tundra to dinner' but I can brag I have the cleanest pantry in all of the upper Midwest. I even DYMO taped some labels in hot pink on red shelves. It falls just short of the Dewey decimal system. (Being late for the party was a small price to pay.) Today I am on to the Samsung...i.e., Ice Box!
Life isn't without problems. The wiley raccoons are 'graveyard shifters' to my deck. I have
1. A .22 caliber rifle with a clip which neither I nor 'Daniel Boone' can seem to pull the trigger of @ 2 a.m.
2. A pellet firing crosman CO2 handgun which is quiet . . .also useless.
3. Two wire traps baited with maple candy which are being ignored this Easter week by all of the forest
creatures. AND
4. My latest addition to the arsenal. . . a 25 foot water shooting soaker filled with vinegar H2O which came
with a warning to avoid the eyes and face of your target.
(This warning would have to be ignored if the real Daniel Boone were here! He IS Not Here.)
The scene starts with a low growl from 70 pound Riley The Wonderdog after midnight but before 2 a.m.; which gets her banished to the closet by me cuz I fear for her getting 'shot in the paw.' Weeks have turned to months, Riley pretty much knows the drill by now...she seems relieved. I am thinking she is afraid of anything bigger than a flyin' squirrel. She knows there are no raccoons in the closet and the danger is her master with a water pistol. Riley doesn't know it is a water gun..it could be an AK-47 in her dog brain.
It is just that in 'Daniel Boone's' brain!
Let the antics begin!
Ron is on his feet.. . turns on the deck illuminating bathroom lite and then the bedroom light in order to get fully dressed in combat fatigues which don't exist all in order to open the patio door and shoot the water gun. The dog won't even peek out of the closet which is now been left open by my Great White Hunter looking for war clothes in camo.)
I whisper, "What are you doing?"
And he blasts back, "I AM NOT GOING ON THE DECK IN MY UNDERWEAR!"
By the end of the light show, closet dance and yelling the varmits are safely in the next county. We are now PETA conservationists by nite; living in the woods saving not only candy, ammo but also vinegar and water... of course raccoons!
(You can't make this crap up..if raccoons had a sense of humor they would die laughing. Keep in mind we live in the woods. Modesty is not wasted on the forest animals in broad daylight.
I can only rationalize: Rules change when it is Daniel Boone you are sleeping with.
The raccoons are safe.. I have thought of killing Daniel Boone but he still provides ALL my farder of laughter...he gives me money.
Over coffee I told him he absolutely flunked "Stalking School 101.". . .
"Do not to give up your day job!"
After I clean the icebox I am shrink wrapping the house. I am one LUCKY girl to be in love with My Best Friend..."So Frickin Charmin"
